Essays listed in chronological order starting with most recent. For archives, please see previous volumes below.
  • Rudy Bauer


By Gisela Miller

During meditation I revisit an experience I had had years ago that I can now interpret within our studies of Radiance and divine Love. I spoke of it briefly at end of class:

I had just finished reading a book about a couple who sailed in the South Pacific. The wife had been unfaithful, and the husband knew of it; one night she fell overboard, and the next morning he began a search for her that lasted days. Finally, spotting her, he throws a life ring, but she’s too weak to grasp it. Without a thought he jumps in to save her, and the sailboat takes off in a gust of wind. I was troubled by the ending; now I know that in the light of what happened to me the next day, the husband had acted out of selfless pure love. The next day I was sitting on a white beach in St. Croix in a resort. I was dressed in a fashionable suit, turban, earrings, sandals, and might have been voted least likely to do what I was about to do. I heard screams from the far out reef. Three men were snorkeling, and were in trouble. My first thought was “men usually wait until it’s too late to get help.” I wasn’t thinking –just like the husband in the story- I grabbed an inflatable pool float and swam out as fast as I could to try to reach them. Someone followed me out. We reached the men, and they grabbed hold of the float; As we were struggling to reach shore- I was told later it took 40 minutes- I was overcome with the most intense feelings of Love I had ever experienced. The shimmering on the water became bright light; the people on the shore lined up, and the whole shoreline became lit with the brightest light. The trees had a halo of light. I did not know if I could hold the Love I was experiencing-it was pounding-heavy-huge opening my heart in a way that was both blissful and frightening; Thoughts arose: “one of the men was the cookie hoarder at tea time”- “they have fins, and snorkels, how did they get into dire trouble out there?” “Any moment now the coast guard will come out and rescue us.” When we reached shore, I was spent, and the adrenaline was taking over.

I had no context for all that I had experienced, and I had no explanation at the time of what could have motivated such a risky action; I can’t even manage a decent breast stroke.

Several weeks later, I was seeing Mietek Wirkus, an energy healer; As he was doing his treatment, I gazed at a photo of Jesus on his wall. The light emanating from his heart came into my heart, and again I was filled with divine Love. A thought arose, “but I’m not Catholic.”

During the past few years, I have been able to cultivate the capacity to hold the light, hold and extend the radiant light of the Great compassion., and experience the words in- seminar penetrate me, infuse me. I am so grateful.

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