The Feeling of Awareness
Rudolph Bauer, Ph.D. Author, Daune McDevitt, Editor
1. When a person is located only in the mind, there will be suffering. The mind itself can only process and metabolize so much.
2. When we are located in the mind, we are in the subject-object duality. In fact, when you attempt to become aware of awareness in the mind, you will fail. You may have ideas, hopes, values, and even love awareness, but you will not experience awareness. Awareness can only be known through awareness.
3. As a beginning, one suspends the mind, awareness is no longer located in and through the mind so completely, then, awareness begins to manifest itself to awareness…awareness attunes to awareness. In the manifestation of awareness the beingness of our Being is manifested and experienced. The beingness of Being manifests itself through and within beings as their own awareness. This manifestation of awareness is felt; one feels the manifestation of awareness. The word that is often used to describe this experience is bhave, a Sanskrit word. English can be sloppy, missing the essence of this experience. This feeling is not an emotion or affect. This vital feeling , this aliveness, does have emotional connotations and affects, but it is not emotion, although it is a vital sense or experience. Yes, the void is experienced. Yes, spaciousness is an experience. Yes, light is an experience, whether as clarity or as blue, green, or red.
4. This affectivity is manifestation itself; manifestation is affective and affectivity is a feeling or experience. This arising of awareness or experience or arising of the feeling of the field does not simply reflect circumstances and is not in essence of the circumstance. It is completely intrinsic and completely immanent. This innateness of arising, this innateness of the manifestation is the essence of affectivity; and this affectivity is of the essence of feeling or experience.
5. In this way as one experiences the feeling of the manifestation of awareness field,this feeling is a manifestation of the beingness of Being itself and is Being itself manifesting. As one experiences this feeling of awareness, this feeling of direct knowingness one knows through ones feelings the beingness of Being itself. In this way the transparency of feeling and the trans-lucidity of feeling is the experience of Divinity made manifest in oneself as oneself in one’s circumstances. This manifestation of your beingness of your Being is your feelings of awareness, your feelings of the field, your feelings of and in the kayas, which are the dimensions of awareness.
6. This manifestation of your experience is the manifestation of luminosity and energy of the primordial field…the ground. Your feelings and the circumstances are the field of Being manifesting as the beingness of your Being, which is the beingness of Being itself. The manifestation of light begins as a feeling. Since you know the feeling directly as yourself, you know the manifestation of Divinity directly, ultimately and unmediated. Through the feeling of your own Being you can enter the beingness of Being itself. It is the beingness of Being itself.
7. In the manifestation of awareness, direct perception or gnosis begins to come forth or show forth-beings to be experiences. The manifestation of awareness and gnosis are identical. Within the context of the mind, the mind knowing the other, the matrix of self- object, is strictly maintained and one reads the other’s mind through physical and embodied manifestations and language. As one shifts into the manifestation of awareness, out of and from within this manifestation of the field, the manifestation of the other becomes apparent in a direct manner, as direct knowingness. Remember gnosis knows gnosis. Knowingness knows knowingness--self to self, inside to inside. Self manifestation of awareness opens the self manifestation of the other, allowing self to self manifestation of the field, which is the source and medium of direct perception. Inside to inside perception arises out of oneness of the field. In this manner self-object duality is overcome. (As awareness is manifest in my self as my self awareness is experience in you from the manifestation within me.) Only awareness knows awareness.